So..

[zorathenne]

About that errant bra of mine..

But, before I get into that bit.. Just so I don't forget (yet again) to put this out there: The Queen Mother wanted me to remind everyone about the catfish fry on Sept 15.. I'll get into more detail about that later. She wants you here so that she can hold court yet again amongst her chilluns and introduce you to certain of our family who shall be there a-visiting, and so that I, The Queen Goddess can yet again fill your tummies with great joy.

Anyway, onward to the Friday that the Bra Died (and a Hoe Handle Whaps our Heroine Upside Her Head)..

Err..

They have (finally) arrived with the new filters! *listens* Yet, they haven't a clue how to put the filter in.. Oh this is rich.

Yay! Success! AIR!!

*cough* Anyway.. As I was saying... OooohmyGODthatcoldairfeelssoSOgood*purr*.. Ahem..

The Bra that Died. Right-O.



Well, you darlings already know what happened that Thursday. Well.. Due to a lack of foresight, I had to wear that same bra the next day (forgot I had my other bras in the laundry and hadn't the time to wash them before work the next day.. Frebreeze is your friend). I should have known something was going on inside that little devious clasp's mind when it was on it's best behavior. No pops, no undoings, nothing. All day. Seriously.

Until it was time to head home.

So, I'm gathering my things, and making a couple of trips to the car as I was going to drop off the garbage on my way out.

I had a tad bit of trash of my own that I'd a mind to throw away, and that was the perfect opportunity. So, I get my other things in the car, go back for the first trash bag, put it in the trunk, and reach into the car to grab the lil bit of trash that i wanted to throw out. Well.. I must have over reached of something just a bit too violently, cause all of a sudden..

*pop*!

>_< ...

Okay.. I can handle this. Just put the trash in the bag, close the door, go to the bathroom real quick to refasten and adjust, grab the other bag of trash, and head on out. This is just a minor snafu. It happens. You can deal with it.

Minor. Snafu.

...Right.

I should have known.

I get into the bathroom, and grab for the ends of the clasp.

And realize that something is terribly.. horribly.. wrong.

I look down, and notice that while I have a clasp part on my right, my left has a broken part. Someway, somewhen, somedamnhow, as I was in midreach in the backseat of the car, upon undoing, the unholybrattylittletwistedsisterofgod clasp not just popped open, it friggin broke while doing so.

*sigh*

But! I can still somewhat fasten the bra by sticking the clasp bit through the ring of cloth that held the bit that broke off! Desperation, they say, is the mother of invention, donchano.. And I should be just fine during the drive home! Perfect!

Oh.. You know that of course the Universe just couldn't leave it at that, right..? Of course not.

But, the unsuspecting Heroine (that woud be Me, yes) comes out of the bathroom with a satisfied grin on her face, much to the amusement of D and L, who happened to be outside the door chatting about stuffs. The only explanation given to the questioning looks on their faces (they'd heard me fussing and grumbling a bit in the loo) was a smug "I showed that fecker who's Boss, alright", as I sashayed down the hall, grabbing the other bag of trash along the way.

They didn't ask for clarification.

So. I put the other bag of trash in the trunk, and head on out, stopping at the huge garbage bin to drop the trash off. I get out the car, grab the trashbags, open the lid, get ready to toss the trash in..

*pop*!

*grumblemumble* Oh, well.. Nothing to get too hot over, just hop back into the car after tossing in the trash, refix, and head home.

So after hopping into the car and refastening, I head on to what would have been a nice, leisurely, uneventful drive home.

But of course, the Universe wasn't having that. *rolls eyes*

Well.. I get to just about a couple miles from my destination, when The Mom called. She needs me to make just a quick stop at the Kroger, to pick up a few items. Nothing major. Just a serious in and out. And as I actually needed a couple things myself, well, perfect opportunity..

For the Universe, that is.

So.. I'm in the Kroger, picking up my groceries (sounded almost like a lolcat macro for a minute), and make it to the checkout line with no surprises. The checkout girl rings up everything, bags them, tells me my total, and I pay. I get my reciept, and reach to put the bags in my cart..

*pop*!

OhjaysusfackinHlovinkuristandvirginblazinmaryonadonkeyeatingjiffpeanutbutterandcrackers.. What have I ever done to have to deal with all this right now in the middle of a frickin crowded Kroger with my gatdamned titties popping out left and right?!

It all became a game of Let's see how fast I can get the rest of the bags in the cart and out to the car without anyone noticing anything... Odd.

Well.. Needless to say.. I made it to the car, refastened once again (by that time, I didn't care how crowded the lot was, nor about the fact that neither car on either side of mine were empty, so a number of folks got to watch the goings-ons of me refastening and adjusting, I'm sure)

I make it home, and The Mom, having been warned of my impending arrival, was at the door, so that I didn't have to open it while bringing in the groceries.. D'awww.. Ain't she a doll?

As I bring in the first couple of bags, The Mom requests I bring the hoe inside.

Err.. Yeah. The hoe. See.. There's this hoe that we had hanging around leaning on the side of the garage a couple days, as we kept forgetting to bring it inside. Well.. It eventually made its way almost to the front door (it was hanging out by the bushes). So, after handing off the bags to The Mom, I reach down and grab the hoe and place it inside right by the doorway, to move again after getting in the bags.

No.. no pop.

Not that time.

I go back, get the rest of my bags, my stuff from work.. and head back into the house.

Now.. Understand what I hadn't exactly caught on to when I placed the hoe inside the house - that I'd placed it in such a way as the business end of it was facing out along what would be my path into the house, and was not exactly level with the floor.

Yeah, uh-oh..

I cross the threshold, and stepped down onto the 'flat' of the hoe..

*whap*!

*pop!*

GRRRRAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

[insert many.. MANY.. noises of fussings going-on emenating from the just-had-it-up-to-HERE Goddess, who is holding many bags, dealing with a pair of titties that had just decided to go all about their own bidness, singing Born Free, and has just been whapped hard on the side of her face by the handle of a hoe.. screw getting pimp-slapped, she'd just gotten hoe-whapped]

Of course, The Mom has to see what's going on, and her reaction to seeing my plight?

You see how hard some of ya'll are (probably) cracking up?

...Yeah.

The Mom had a hell of a chuckle as I told her about my day (after she'd, of course, divested me of my load and moved the hoe)

Where is the bra now?

Well.. it's been.. retired.. til I can see if I can *cough* find a fix for it *shifty eyes* Don't look at me like that! I'm poor as dirt right now.. I'm down to 2 bras atm and I can't just toddle on down and plunk down a hella lotta change on new bras just yet.. It's enough I gotta take my tight ass fitting sports bras back out of semi-retirement. *grumble*



And on that note? *glances at the clock* It's time to take my tired booty home!

I'll post more about the party later *wiggle*!

Comments

[teague.livejournal.com]

And this is why ladies try to carry safety pins in their purse at all times. Next time it would be, "POP!" "Oh yeah! I got your fucking pop! Here's a pop!" *pin* "HA!"

[kth-dragon.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you need to put up an ad for the New Bra Fund. I'd donate.

[blowdry.livejournal.com]

Although bra mishaps are not fun, this post was very amusing. XD