(no subject)
Sep. 12th, 2003 11:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zorathenneHeh..
Friday..
In class..
I THINK my brain is still here.. though I won't be surprised if it isn't.. I don't think I have paid attention in this class since the first day..
Have tons of things I must catch up on before the end of this month..
Reorganizing my room is pushed up to the top of the list - *again*..
Catch up on schoolwork..
Get my diet/exercise back on track.. I'm SO not allowed to gain back the weight I lost.. Gonna be realistic *grin* and say I *must* hit my target weight by my birthday.. that gives me til December.. about 3-4 months..
Fine with me.. I think I'm up to that.. Bah.. was doing SO well hehe..
I love my mother.. I really really do.. but I so can not wait for her to go back home to NY.. I have not had any time to myself since I met virgil - *shudder* ick.. I hate the taste of that name..
- I HAVE to phone/email Amena before Monday -
I need my OWN vacation.. When I graduate in December (the day after my birthday *wiggle*) I'm packing up and going SOMEWHERE dammit.. And I'm NOT telling anyone (except maybe my mom) where I am going..
No one.. Not one person.. Don't care WHO they are..
I won't even go on the net while I'm away. I won't want to talk to *anyone*..
Hell.. I may just lock myself up in the apartment for a full week.. Not like I would tell anyone if I did..
Hrmm.. well I may want to be around SOME folks.. Maybe I'll go up to Delaware to stay with Amena.. Or go to Decataur to stay with Bea and momma.. It would be soothing to stay with one sister or the other.. And they understand me almost better than I understand myself hehe.. (DO I even understand myself? Do I even WANT to? Scary, scary thought)..
I just need to center myself again.. But everytime I try, something intrudes.. And I'm unable to block it out as they are situations too important to put on hold or ignore..
I've gotten to the point I want to just scream for a good 30 hours straight.. Throw things.. Just yell my lungs out at random people.. Punch holes in walls.. Get sloppy drunk or something.. (hmm maybe not the sloppy drunk.. but as close to it as possible.. how bout *very* tipsy)
Bah..
I need a (real) job..
I need to live somewhere OTHER than Douglasville..
Bah..
Friday..
In class..
I THINK my brain is still here.. though I won't be surprised if it isn't.. I don't think I have paid attention in this class since the first day..
Have tons of things I must catch up on before the end of this month..
Reorganizing my room is pushed up to the top of the list - *again*..
Catch up on schoolwork..
Get my diet/exercise back on track.. I'm SO not allowed to gain back the weight I lost.. Gonna be realistic *grin* and say I *must* hit my target weight by my birthday.. that gives me til December.. about 3-4 months..
Fine with me.. I think I'm up to that.. Bah.. was doing SO well hehe..
I love my mother.. I really really do.. but I so can not wait for her to go back home to NY.. I have not had any time to myself since I met virgil - *shudder* ick.. I hate the taste of that name..
- I HAVE to phone/email Amena before Monday -
I need my OWN vacation.. When I graduate in December (the day after my birthday *wiggle*) I'm packing up and going SOMEWHERE dammit.. And I'm NOT telling anyone (except maybe my mom) where I am going..
No one.. Not one person.. Don't care WHO they are..
I won't even go on the net while I'm away. I won't want to talk to *anyone*..
Hell.. I may just lock myself up in the apartment for a full week.. Not like I would tell anyone if I did..
Hrmm.. well I may want to be around SOME folks.. Maybe I'll go up to Delaware to stay with Amena.. Or go to Decataur to stay with Bea and momma.. It would be soothing to stay with one sister or the other.. And they understand me almost better than I understand myself hehe.. (DO I even understand myself? Do I even WANT to? Scary, scary thought)..
I just need to center myself again.. But everytime I try, something intrudes.. And I'm unable to block it out as they are situations too important to put on hold or ignore..
I've gotten to the point I want to just scream for a good 30 hours straight.. Throw things.. Just yell my lungs out at random people.. Punch holes in walls.. Get sloppy drunk or something.. (hmm maybe not the sloppy drunk.. but as close to it as possible.. how bout *very* tipsy)
Bah..
I need a (real) job..
I need to live somewhere OTHER than Douglasville..
Bah..
