Ugh...

[zorathenne]

I think I'm gonna go home early today.. My body is so drained and my eyes are battling to stay awake. I'm cramping, and hard. I just feel like crap. My brain can't even connect thoughts. Dammit.. The months I skip why can't my body just skip? And I mean everything.. At times it makes me wish I would just have my damn period anyway.. Ever since my body went irregular (before my miscarriage you could set your watch to my cycle.. but now..? *shrug*) it's like my period makes guest apperances. My cycle itself is still always on cue, but the main event can pull a no~show at anytime. I still cramp ~ and for some godsforsaken reason the times I skip my cramps are worse.. I'm all sore.. I still feel like I'm walking through molasses.. My emotional levels are more than just out of whack ~ I go from sweetheart to bitch to crybaby to lunatic (wait.. I'm always a lunatic) to hyper to "ALL MEN MUST DIE! RAWR!!" and back and forth at the same time... And don't let me tap into someone else's emotions as well (it's why my friends notice I not just prefer to be alone during those times.. I need to be alone.. Granted it doesn't always happen, but it's not like I would complain about it anyway).. I hate myself when I get all snappish and irritable at my bootiful ones, and then I get pissed at myself for doing so.. and then it just gets all sorts of ugly from there..

Everything else still happens.. But nothing 'comes out'... Dammit.. It's like my body goes nuts for no reason.. I feel like ripping out my uterus.. shaking it viciously, and yelling "Make up your damn mind already! Ya sending out or not? If you are, fine! But if not.. then stop bothering me! I know you're there dammit.. You don't need to keep reminding me!"

*sigh* I need to tell my period to go bug someone else.. I can't handle having to bother with it this week.. Can't I just get a "No PMS" card sometimes..?



I just can't deal today..