Good gad...

It's hot down here.. Someone up there needs to tell whoever does climate control that the thermostat for Georgia is *broken*.. I know I know.. why complain when there are others who are having it worse.. Especially over in Europe =(

Maybe I'll mention to climate-control they need to fix the thermostat there too *ponder*..
*whew* made some more headway in the project that is cleaning my room.. You can now sit on the couch again! Well.. you can.. but you may wanna move those 2 boxes over some.. and those cd's.. whoops! Make that 3 boxes..

Ah well.. hehe.. the room looks better dammit.. That's all I have to say about that..

Supposed to go out later with mom to take care of some needed shopping.. Then it's back to working on my room some more.. Going over my case studies for class (*bitchmoanwhine*).. oh and darnnabbit I HAVE to remember to find an article to do my term paper on... no more procrastination allowed..!!
....As of tomorrow, that is *grin*...

Maybe I'll go turn the air on for a moment..

Yuck I need to find the time again to get back walking.. I still do over the weekends but I've slacked off some during the week.. My weight tho hasn't figured that out and so far I've been grateful *grin*

I think I'm going to start replanning where I'm putting my wall scrolls and posters.. Well.. at least the wall scrolls for now.. I still have my ideas for the other things I wanted to hang around my room.. Ooo! And my stars..

I SO need a larger room.. Apartments can be a pain..
I was looking over at my violin in the living room.. and gazing wistfully over at my flute..
*sigh* I need to start playing again.. It's been like a year or 2 since I last really played.. My fingers are stiffening on me.. =(.. That's SO not good..

*yawn*

Hrmm.. should I pop a tape into the tv? Something to be distracting just enough visually..
Sometimes I NEED to go into sensory overload.. Don't ask why; I'm just strange like that..
I know. I just need a conversation going on around me.. That's what it is.. But Trayvis and Rick aren't nearby.. Rick is at work I do believe and Trayvis is floating around somewhere.. oop I NEED to remember to call him and confirm stuff with him about DCon..

I'll prolly end up getting mom in here.. She loves to fuss at me just to fuss.. It'll count as a conversation rofl.. a one-sided one maybe.. But she likes to spend time with me..
I think that's part of the problem going on in my life *ponder* I really don't spend as much time with her like I used to when I was younger.. I know I've pushed her away some and she respects it, but she didn't like HOW I did it..
I know it hurt her feelings a lot.. I was really a prick at that time when it came to our relationship and my spirit is pissed at me STILL for it...
I'm so sorry mommy - you know I love you more than I love myself..
The thing I miss is the bond we had.. It's still there and strong as hell.. But it just seems clouded..
I know it's on my end. Mommy is as clear as crystal.. We would finish each other's sentences.. Answer each other's questions before they were even uttered.. I'd be upset about something and be miles away from her.. but then all of a sudden the phone would ring and I would answer it and her voice would say, "What's wrong? Talk to me."
Now THAT'S a bond... How it should be..
Hehe I remember when I used to think she was soo magical.. When I was much younger and we'd drive to the mall or supermarket, Mom would drive around in the parking lot.. Then she would stop the car, smile, and say, "Scatter!"
And like 2 or 3 cars would pull out of their parking spots..
And I would be like "WOW!" in all my 5 and 6yr old wonder..
One time I remember that she just drove around the parking lot doing that several times cause she loved when I would laugh and clap and just squeal in delight.
Then she would let me try it.. HA! I would be bouncing around in my seat and yelling "Scatter!" and not one car would move..
My mom was more powerful than God to me then..
She would tell me that one day I would be able to get it *just* right.. No way.. Not ME! Mommy was the one with the magic! =)
Until I learned the secrets behind Observation, Deductive Reasoning, and Cause and Effect hehe..
Mom said that when that happened her heart did a lil pinch, cause it meant she was no longer magical to me..
She is always gonna be the most wonderous person..
Even if I know now how to make cars scatter, hehee..

Ugh.. Lemme get back to this room and make some more sense out of it.. I have laundry I need to start on anyway..

Georgia is Definitely...

Not on my mind...

Can I vent..?
You wanna know what really made my frickin day..??

WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE AHEAD..

Don't say I didn't warn you..

I just got back from hanging out with my mom.. Oh we had fun.. But it seemed that this had to be the day where someone had to show the rest of the world how ignorant he is..

I'm driving to the mall.. And coming off I-20 I had to get over into the next lane.. So.. while coming up to the red light, I put on my blinker since I was a few cars back and there were a few cars in the lane next to me.. I drove a bit slowly to let the cars in that lane move on ahead and as I ease my way over into the next lane I look up into my rearview mirror to see an old beat up looking green jeep cherokee (I think that's what it was) speed up from pretty far back behind me.. Well.. I'm already more than halfway in the next lane; that guy will just have to slow up so I can finish getting over. Not a problem. Well.. I guess for HIM it was a problem because he pulls up right on my butt and blares his horn. If I had really wanted to, I could have just braked even the tiniest bit, and he would have rear-ended me. But no, my mom is in the car, so I'm just gonna go on ahead and get in the turn lane to get to the store and give him no more thought..

So WHY does he pull into the lane next to me and pull up along side me and my mother and start screaming? And WHY does he feel the need to yell every racial black slur while he does it?

He decides to inform me that I'm a stupid fucking nigger and that that was HIS lane I pulled over into and that I need to learn to give white people the right of way like a proper nigger and so on and so forth.. Meanwhile his little cracker girlfri-- err I'm sorry I mean his little cracker bitc-- dammit I meant to say his little stringy haired white woman starts chirping in with a chorus of "You fucking nigger!" along with whatever else her profound intelligence (well lack of that is) could think to say about niggers..

My mom just looked straight ahead and said not to even respond.. ooooooo.... If she hadn't had said that....
So they finally pull up since the cars behind them started honking.. Well the light in the turn lane I was in turned green and as I pull up to drive past them and turn they decide to wave to me with only their middle finger (interesting white custom here in the south I guess)..

So I 'waved' back..

They cut off another car that was in the turn lane and get behind me and follow me into the parking lot and just ride my tail.. So I drive as slow as I can through the parking lot.. Well not too too slow as other cars are behind us and it wouldn't be fair to hold everyone up.. We get to near the front of the store and he swings out to pull alongside me again.. I guess he was just really in the mood to talk.. But all he did was pretty much repeat what he had yelled earlier and that I need to take my nigger ass back to where I came from (Hell I would LOVE to move back to New York if you really want to know) and his girl chirps up again with her little chorus of "Dumb nigger!"..

THIS time.. NOTHING my mom said was going to stop me.. She tried to roll the window up but my button overrode..

I put the car in park, looked at him and said..:

"I don't understand why you are calling me a nigger. I don't look ANYTHING like your mother, so I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me by her name. So if you are really trying to look for who or whatever this 'nigger' is, I suggest you go look in a mirror and check yourself. Now, run along to your little Klan meeting, boy, and let us grown-ups do what we came here to do. God loves you, and have a nice day."

Well I guess that was the password or something because they just shut up and stared at me.. (or did I say something that hurt their feelings? Should I go apologize?) I mean I've always heard them call Black men 'boy', so I thought it was the 'in' thing to call all White men 'boy' too..
But maybe I said something wrong because as I pulled away, he just turned his car around and burned rubber getting out of the parking lot..

And to think my mother grew up in the south in what I know was a much worse racial atmosphere..
But we live in a different time now.. Doesn't that man realize that if he had been back up MY way in NY and started yelling like that, he would have attracted some attention he wouldn't have wanted? Even better, if I hadn't been with my mother and instead some of my friends from back home had been with me, an ambulance would have ended up at the scene..

What is the use for hate as it is?? If you don't like me because of the color of my skin, then hell I can deal with it.. Why go out of your way to make yourself anymore uglier than you already are by acting like such an asshole about it? It's just a waste of energy.. You don't like me? Then just stay away from me. You don't have to interact with me at all if you don't want to. Believe me, you aren't going to hurt my feelings....

Whatever man.. anyway I get to have some chocolate cake and ice cream with my mommy!!